Blog Props (whereby your name and number/time (or not if you wish) will be written in lights on the Momedy athlete wall of fame for all to read in awe and amazement. You can better your current time/reps at any time for even further awe and amazement.
Winner: (Whereby you win that category. And are hereby known as the master/ess of the fitness universe)
The honour system is in play here m'peeps. If you lie and cheat in any way, shape or form (haha, get it..form? I so punny) you are automatically a loser. In life. Which is a terrible place to be a loser.
You may participate in as few or many categories as you wish.
A drawing amongst "Blog Props" qualifiers will be held for a prize on March 31, 2010 and probably on various occasions before then, depending on how excited we all get about this.
Prizes will be awarded to the winners of each category on March 31, 2010
I'm not sure what these prizes will be yet. I am trying for some donations/sponsorships (if you want to sponsor one in exchange for advertising by all means let me know). If I have to finance them all myself they will be minimal but the glory, hotness and fitness benefits will remain huge. Have no doubt that word of your athletic prowess will be noised abroad (I will call my family in South Africa and tell them).
All categories were carefully chosen with the following in mind. We wanted options that were:
- Possible for people of any fitness ability. There will be none of this "well I can't do what all you crazy fit people can" excuse. None of it! There is something in here for everyone. Everyone I say! No whining allowed.
-Done with minimum of equipment. (You need nothing more then arms, legs, a jump rope and a couple of sturdy benches or chairs to complete all categories. Oh! And a pull-up bar if you are going to go for that one (Children's playground equipment works).
-Easily quantifiable . This makes your progress easily apparent to you, and this is highly motivating. (Read motivating tales inserted below)
-Covering a broad spectrum of fitness. We have exercises for strengthening (toning, firming and hottie-fying) legs, arms, and core. We also have some aerobics to make your heart sexy. If you need to lose weight there is a category for that too.
Without further ado here are the categories:
To win: Hold form for longest time.
Form: Back against the wall, with back of the hands placed up against the wall with palms facing outward. Legs will be at a 90 degree angle the knee and quadriceps parallel to the ground. (Someone needs to check your form or do it in front of a mirror because it is easy to fudge this without even knowing). Time starts when contestant is in proper position and stops when form is broken. (Moving/shifting of feet during timing is not allowed. Crying is allowed) Insert motivating tale: The first time I did this I could only do 30 seconds. Within a month I was up to 6 mins 20 seconds and undefeated Community Center record holder (for both women and men I may add for those few people left in the world who I have not yet informed)
Push-ups: 20 push-ups in proper military form.
Blog props: 20 in a row (no stopping)
Form: Bring chest down to touch tennis-ball placed under chest and come back to elbow locked position during each repetition.
To win: Most in 2 minutes (you may rest in between) Insert Inspirational Tale: One month ago, Amy who was the upper body strength wimp of the universe (Nathan's words not mine) could not do one push-up even if you put a gun to her head. I told her that if she would not be lame and whiney about it we'd get her to 20 with 1 break between sets of 10 within 3 weeks. And she did. Practising only 3 times a week with children harassing us, after 45 minutes of biking. Within 1 month she was doing 20 push-ups consecutively, in great form, without stopping. She looks so tough now. Amy says: "I feel like a machine now. I am so strong. Now Nathan can't push me around anymore!"
Sit-ups
Blog props:40 sit ups in good form.
To win: The most in 5 minutes (you can rest in between)
Form: Lie down on the ground. Have your knees bent and the balls of your feet and heels placed flat on the ground.Have someone stand on/hold your feet. Hand must be positioned behind head, lightly touching either side of your head. (Don't pull on your head or neck). Shoulder blades must touch the floor between each rep.
Insert motivating tale: Amy was kinda lame at this too about a month ago and could barely crank out 10. Now she can do 40 consecutively with ease and 60 I'm sure if she would just push herself slightly. Amy says: "Wow! I'm incredible!"
1 mile:
Blog props: Run/walk 1 mile in at least 14 minutes
To win: Get the best time for a mile ( women/men categories apply)
5 km:
Blog Props:Finish a 5km (with regular running intervals, although walking is permitted. This does not have to be an official 5km although that would be fun:)
To win: Get the fastest time (women/ men categories apply)
200 m run:
Within 1 minute: Blog props
To win: Get the fastest time (women/men categories apply)
Jump rope: Double footed (I am not sure if I can do this at all)
50 in a row (If you stop or get tripped up you start over): Blog props
To win: As many as you can within 5 minutes (And Nathan wants a video of it :)
Plank hold: (amazing core exercise, hello abs of steel)
Form: Rest on your forearms with the rest of the body in the traditional, top of a push- up position. keep your body as straight as a plank with your toes curled under to support you. Hold forearm plank position in proper form for as long as possible. Time starts when contestant is in proper position, stops when contestants breaks form or there is flexion or extension in the spine. (I.e: When your back sags or bridges)
Blog props: 45 seconds
To win: Longest time (Nathan wants a video of this too)
Insert motivating/braggy tale: About a month ago I could barely do 45 seconds. Yesterday I contested the record which stood at 2:30 never having done more then 2 minutes. I did 3:51. So you see. (It made my contact lens pop out. But still.)
Bench dips:
Form:Position your hands shoulder width apart on a secured bench. Place your legs straight out and rest your heels on another secure bench. Straighten out your arms and keep a little bend in your elbows in order to always keep tension on your triceps and off your elbow joints. Slowly lower your upper body down towards the floor and keep your elbows tucked into your sides. Once you reach the bottom of the movement, slowly press off with your hands and push yourself back up to the starting position with your triceps
Props: 15 without stopping
To win: Max number in 5 minutes (you can rest between). Women/Men categories apply
Inspiring story: A month ago, Amy could only do five of these. Now she can do 20 without stopping. You should see her triceps. They totally pop out now. Sadly she can't see them because they are behind her. I will take a picture.
Pull-ups:
Form: Start in hanging position with arms relaxed in full extension, overhand grip. Pull chin above top of bar. Once chin is above bar, contestant can lower back down into a full arm extension and continue.
Blog props: 2 in a row for women (I can currently do 1. Juuuuuuuuuust Barely) 5 for men.
To win: Most consecutive. (men/women categories apply)
Weight loss
Blog Props: 10% Body Weight lost
To win: Maximum percentage body weight loss (Biggest Loser Style)
We want before and after photos :)
Circuit run: Complete in the following order:
1 mile run
20 push-ups (military style, using form described above)
30 bench dips (hands on one bench/chair, feet on another)
60 sit ups
Exercises must be done in the order given above.
Blog props: Completion within 20 minutes
To win: Complete in the best time
To report your times, just post your time/reps beneath this post. I will put a permalink to it in the sidebar. I will update the Momedy Wall of Fame as you do. The intention is to have the props portion constantly updated. If you beat your previous time/reps, let me know. This will allow us to see where we are all at and feed the healthy competition.
Questions? Comments? Did I mention I have no time for your whining? But tons of time for your enthusiasm/obsessing/questions/inspiring progress reports? We cool? Awesome. Remember the worse you are now the more impressive your progress will be. Let's get healthy, happy, hot, fit and ripped. Yes! Lets.
*Keep posted for updates/tips/encouragement/general weirdness from me and Coach Nathan.
Speaking of the frequently referenced engima that is Nathan. The mean big brother I never had, if I didn't love him I'd hate him. the fascinating, freaky fun and infuriating. Here he is. (Stick with him, it's like a rollercoaster, but it's a rush.)
Hi. This is guest blogger Nathan and it’s a pleasure to be, even if for only a day, a part of the blogosphere. Suddenly I feel light and breezy, even when all is falling apart around me. After all, look at my margins. To paraphrase the king, “It’s good to be a narrative.”
For a visual, see Kirsty’s Dec 22nd “Par-tay” pirate picture. I’m the guy in the background picking his nose and sniffing a wine bottle. Something like that. But—and here’s the inspiring part—that was before I began molding my entire diet and workout and daily schedule around destroying the heart, lungs, legs, body, and, indeed, soul of everyone on the local Community Center Throwdown board. Suddenly my life has purpose. My breakfast is fiber filled. My lunch is lean and mean. My dinner is trim. Snacks fully answer life’s most terrible questions. And it’s all because for the first time since I watched Little Brother Albert take on the bullies at the conclusion of one of the most stirring “Little House” episodes ever shown on late afternoon rerun TV in 1980s SoCal, I know whose spirit I want to crush!
Apologies for the exclamation point. I know; my writing should speak for itself. But if you knew the lump that Little Brother Albert left in my throat... Sometimes a dish of pain tastes so sweet—or savory if you’re my wife (French Fries anyone?).
But back to the point—and here’s the point—Kirsty asked me, as trainer to the stars, to write an inspiring guest blog to get us all off our buttocks, out of our nightmares, and onto the track. I’m not sure I should even try. After all, it’s been four paragraphs and we’re still introducing ourselves (did I mention I’m trainer to the stars?). So instead I’ll just share a bit of today’s Sunday School lesson (You did go to Sunday School today, didn’t you?).
So we’re discussing how we can be good. Which is always a good discussion to have. Interesting thing about Sunday School lessons is, however, that, while springing from scripture, they rarely land back on the original trampoline. So, we’re bouncing all over the religious backyard talking about how to fast and pray our way to our own soul’s salvation (apologies to the teacher, it really wasn’t so springy, but we’re in the blogosphere and I’m making a point here) but for all our talking, all I’m seeing is a lot of lint down there. Suddenly (always a suddenly—and then…), it occurs to us to return to the launch pad (that would be the actual scripture; ah, the text). Want to perfect YOURSELF? Feed the poor.
So there’s the paradox that this blog is all about. The Master knew what it was all about. The best way to achieve the abstract (happiness, goodness, the elusive self) is to go after the concrete.
Hence (meaning we’re almost there), our virtual friend Kirsty (who, I can assure you is nearly as cool in person as she is on her blog) , in throwing down this throwdown is not really interested in your butt. She’s out to heal your soul. And any of us who have given any real time and energy to burning a few angry calories on the track, the pool, the cliff, or the court know that there are few better ways to heal. This throwdown is your chance. My chance. Our chance.
So, from one personal trainer of the stars to another, heal thyself, brothah, or sistah.
Out of your nightmares and onto the track.
Now.
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